There are moments

There are moments when I think about being a mom. There are moments when I think about having a mom. There are moments when these two thoughts are intertwined, wrapped seamlessly around each other, unable to distinguish where one starts and the other begins. There are moments when it's just a fleeting thought. There are moments when it's an explosive emotion. There are moments when I wonder what if or how different that would be.

I had a moment like this the other morning when I woke Dexter up for the day. He was all four tooth grins and pointing at which stuffed animal he'd like to hold court with on his changing table (sidenote: all of them, it's always all of them). And it was there on his changing table while he jabbered away and I got him dressed and ready to face the world that both thoughts of being a mom and having a mom hit me simultaneously. Powerful, those moments.