Sprinkler v. Sand

We've been logging a lot of hours outside recently. BBQs at friends' houses, backyard adventures and whatnot. I love summer! And so does this kid of ours. Dexter cannot get enough of the outdoors. He splashed around in the sprinklers during Memorial Day weekend and also went toe to toe with his first sandtable.

I have come to the conclusion that I will do everything in my power to make this kid choose sprinklers over sand because there is no way I'm letting a sandbox/table ever set foot in our yard. OMG, it's just too much work, man. No, you can't eat it. No, you can't throw it. No, you have to keep it in the box. No, no, no. Call me lazy and an awful parent, but I like an activity that requires as little parental supervision as possible. Am I right? When he was done playing with the sand, he had it all up in his neck crevices and nether regions (I haven't decided what I'm going to call it yet, privates sounds so silly and every other adult word sounds too American Pie movie). Mind you, he was wearing jeans, a onesie AND a diaper so I'm not sure how it even got down there since there were three protective layers in place but that sand, it's a clever girl, isn't it?

So in the case of Sprinkler v. Sand, I rule in the favor of Sprinkler and require that Sand pay damages equal to the amount of baths that need to be given to reinstitute overall good hygiene.

And for good measure, a little Yoga, anyone?