If you ever think, hey it would be fun to take my nearly 18 month old to an out of town wedding, don't. Just don't. Just stop. It's not fun. It's not cute. Well, maybe it's cute. But not for you. For everyone else, yes, loads of cuteness. But for you? No, not at all. Because you're the one that's thinking dear God, please don't let him squeal during the Catholic mass and if he does at least let it be during one of the songs and not the vows. And yes, those little man khakis are so cute but you wouldn't know it because all you can see is the blur of hair and dress clothes that is running up and down a hallway oblivious to large carts of food, making a beeline for stage stairs in the ballroom. And look, you've become the junk food fairy waving chicken nuggets and animal crackers and cupcakes in his face to distract him from his destination. Exhausting, I tell you.
And if you were thinking dinner was a good idea with a nearly 18 month old in your lap, then you are a fool. Because during this time, you are either a. trying to shovel food into his mouth so he'll just quit squirming for one second so that you in turn can shovel a bite of that $30/plate into your mouth or b. dislocating your jaw so you can swallow your meal in one big gulp and get back to chasing him out of the photobooth so that other partygoers can have a turn.
Speaking of that photobooth, yes, it was so terribly cute when he and his cousin had their pictures taken. Unfortunately, you were so over it and said never look back after you scooped him up to leave that you forgot the photo strip back at the reception so there isn't even any proof of how terribly cute it all was.
Despite all of this though the evening transpired without any major meltdowns which was your goal in the first place so score!
However, it's still not cute.
Dad pulling your nearly 18 month old in a wagon? That's cute.