Saturday, August 27, 2011

"On the teet" has a whole new meaning

August is national breastfeeding month. I had no idea there was such a thing until I became Dexter's own personal cow 6 months ago. So in true wannabe blogger fashion, I've decided to offer up my own breastfeeding post. After all she and she did it and if there were a bridge I'd probably let them push me. So if boobs ain't your bag then come back another day.
My experience with breastfeeding:
I knew that my chest would get larger, (all the better to feed you with, my dear Dexter), but I had no idea that I would become the busty woman that you see before you today. Half of my tops have been retired from my wardrobe for fear that they will split in two a la the Incredible Hulk and I'm a little disheartened, (I'm looking at you, yellow and gray stripey top).

Image from here
I thought I knew what I was getting into when I made the decision to try to breastfeed. After all, I took the class and read my What to Expect book but much like labor, you have no idea until you're living it. The whole concept of having an infant attached to me for half an hour every two hours went in one ear and out the other. Yeah, that definitely caught me off guard. Especially at night. I remember googling until my fingers bled trying to figure out a way to get the kid to space out his feedings further apart after dark. Hint: there wasn't one. Like a ravenous hyena he was on me like white on rice. I just kept thinking this cannot be right. Nighttime = sleep and daytime = eat. Figure it out, buddy! And then came a growth spurt, which meant back-to-back-to-back feedings. And then came the tears because I had no idea that growth spurts actually existed, especially for just a little thing, like this guy.

I just thought he was being unreasonable. Eventually it hit me that this is just the way
it is, (or at least the way that we ended up doing it). I followed Dexter's lead and fed on demand until he got himself settled into a schedule. I have no idea if his schedule then or now is typical or totally out of wack but it's been working for us and as you can see, the kid is not starving so we're just going with it.

I have a new best friend and her name is Medela (Pump in Style Advanced). Wherever I go, she goes. Over time it has gotten less and less strange to be hooked up and essentially milked. I will admit that the first time I looked at my pump, I was a little frightened...but now we're besties. She's like Kid Sister for moms...

Except way more boring and functional looking.

Nursing is a one-woman show and I don't like audiences. I'm not comfortable enough to whip 'em out wherever and whenever, (although I'm comfortable enough to share this post? Strange), so I find myself alone with Dexter more than Josh. It gets a little bit lonely especially when we're out of town with family and friends and everyone else is whooping it up while I'm holed up in a room by myself. I try to remind myself that this nursing relationship is kind of special...and formula is too expensive for my cheap-ass. (Note: We do formula too but we try to make the container last as long as possible, so we don't put it on the menu unless I don't pump enough).
All this being said, I feel fortunate that I've been able to do this for Dexter but am unsure how long I will continue. I realize that experts recommend one year but quite frankly, I'm not sure that I'm dedicated enough, especially knowing that Dexter does just fine with a bottle and formula. On the other hand, I've also heard stories like this one, where babies just wean themselves and decide to be done with the whole nursing thing on their own and that kind of makes me sad. It just makes me realize how quickly this time is going and as eager as I am to hear him talk, see him walk and discover what kind of little boy he's going to grow up to be, it also breaks my heart a little that he won't be a baby much longer.

1 comment:

Jonna said...

Aww this made me laugh and cry!!